CYNICAL OBSERVER

Nobody asked me but...
by Marcel Friedmann


Some club directors seem to have a special talent for half tables, others seem always to manage to even out the movement. Also, when some of those so-called nonplaying directors play, it can easily add half an hour to a session, as they are more interested in impressing partner by getting good scores than in calling the moves. When these same parties are just players, they seem to have a penchant for calling for a ruling even if the opponent just sneezed out of tempo.

By the way, apprentice T.D.s (Tournament Directors) should at least know how many rounds are scheduled before they talk down to people. Graduating a two-year course in arrogance at the Don Rickles Charm School in six months is really no recipe for dealing with the public.

16 bucks a table is what the League gets from the clubs for the so called Epson. It wouldn't be surprising if interest in this World-Wide Instant Matchpoint event started waning among both players and clubs.

There can be no doubt that Edgar, Bobby and the great Al richly deserved being enshrined in the Bridge Hall of Fame. In pure bridge lingo, their induction was automatic. Yet there is something inherently wrong with a process that does not include Edith Kemp who, if not for the incomparable Helen Sobel, would be the greatest American woman player of all time. Must she really wait to be elected posthumously? Wouldn't it be right for this fierce competitor (yet always a lady) to get the recognition to which she is entitled for a long and distinguished career? I'm sure that the stars named above would enthusiastically agree with me. Ruth, Williams and Di Maggio all made Cooperstown on the first ballot. Can you imagine Lou Gehrig having to wait?

When a director volunteers to a Committee how their decision on a protest will affect the standings of an event, the best he can do is plead `diminished capacity'.

The revelation in the June Bulletin of the fact that nowadays it's entirely possible to attain Life Mastership without ever competing against anyone who can follow suit comes as no great surprise. It must give people great satisfaction to make it that way.

As predicted in the previous PM, the last Regional at the Sheraton was an unqualified attendance and financial success. Of course, it wasn't the Easterns of yore. An ex-NY internationalist (we'll just refer to him as Andy) walked into the Goldmans and asked where all the good players were. Most of them were noticeable by their absence.

The Reisingers and the Goldmans used to be two of the most prestigious events on the calendar, on a par with the Nationals. In a way it is a good thing for the organizers that fewer of us are around who know how great N.Y. tournaments could be and actually were.

Wonder if those little people with those tremendous egos have fallen arches from carrying around the weight of all that frustration and resentment. The last refuge of a poor loser is an accusation of cheating against their betters. Vendettas in bridge have repeatedly proved to be futile and counter- productive.

There can be no question that the famed Cavendish Calcutta has become the prime Pro-Am in the world with nearly half a mill in the pot.

The use of trainers, coaches, masseurs, etc. for U.S. teams seems silly and so far unproductive. Even the value of NPCs (Non-playing Captains) is in doubt. In at least three instances they contributed to the loss of a world event.

Bill Root's umpteenth win of the Vanderbilt must rank as the most popular win of a major national event except for Oswald Jacoby's 1982 capture of the Reisinger Board-a-Match at the age of 83. And guess whose team he was on-Big Bill's, of course. He's done it all and he's done it his way and, come to think of it, he's still doing it.

We wish good fortune to Jimmy Cayne in his pursuit of the Bowl in China and hope he will be able to bring back all the cookies. If neither of our teams make it, this Unit still has a shot with "Mr Nice", Bjorn Fallenius.

The League's prevailing philosophy that one should play dead against a pair that's in contention is contrary to all ideals of sportsmanship. No one should be entitled to a free ride. The answer is clear, at least to this C.O., whether against your friends or strangers, you should play as hard on the last board as on the first and let the points fall where they may.

The world of bridge surely must be saddened by the loss of Giorgio Belladonna. It will be up to bridge historians (if there are such beings) if he or Bob Hamman was the best player of this or any other century. When on very rare occasions this top star of the Blue Team lost his temper it was usually at himself. This attitude made his partners play above their heads. He knew how to play when he was ahead and when he was behind, in Edgar Kaplan's words, "he played like a demon."

This C.O. has diligently perused the Bridge Encyclopedia and four editions of the law book and nowhere to be found are things like: arranging, sorting, etc. (counting would be more accurate). Also not stated are whether the traveling score should be entered by north or south or, in a club game, where the slips should go. The League's new boss has solved that enigma by providing a slot under the board. The ABA, however, has more concise regulations but they would be considered chauvinistic by some of our gentler members.

Kudos to Marcy Myron for a grand job running the UJA Charity Game.

Baron Barclay's convention cards seem a lot clearer than Memphis' new maze. The latter must be easy for small groups of so-called Scientists (not necessarily mad) to fill out as it reflects clearly what `they' play.

As bizarre as conditions of contest were for the International Team Trials, the two best possible teams survived and will represent us in China. This C.O. forecast that both Meckwell and Double Bob would make it (so what else is new?)

Wonder how Wolff feels at being in the company of some of the previous inductees in the Hall of Fame who in his stated standards would be less than kosher (not all that actively ethical).

Giving students a discount is, at best, questionable. Giving it on a school day is, to this C.O., almost obscene. One fellow came to play money (rubber) bridge and asked for a student discount. (Probably was taking a finishing course at reform school.)

It's not unusual to see someone play rubber bridge for high stakes and then walk to the duplicate to save the fare.

Although every day thousands of boards are played in this country, at most two or three make it into print.

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