...I looked up "Active Ethics" in Webster s and the Oxford Unabridged and came up empty. So, why should I be surprised if I couldn t find it at a Conduct & Ethics committee in Miami. If I didn t know better, I would think that the chairman (Oklahoma Crude) learned procedure from Joe McCarthy. Alfonso Bedoya might have had it right when in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre he hollered: "We don t need no stinking badges". In tournaments those badges seem to intimidate some opponents and even some directors might be uncomfortable to come down hard on badge-wearers lest they have some influence on their future in the ACBL. In a recent District 3 Regional, the tournament chairman partnered the ACBL President, both badgeless. Two New York women couldn t wait to call the director on them. I wonder if they would have done so had their opponents worn their badges. As long as we are on the subject, this particular president, Dudley B. Brown, is very special: For the players, of the players, by the players.
...When a N.Y. luminary voiced concern about this C.O.'s description of the "improvements" in the Alert Procedures, he was told that anything he wanted to write on this subject would be gratefully accepted for publication in these pages. He promised to hop right to it, but that s the last we heard from him.
...When a gentleman from California told a three-woman committee "You girls are good enough to bid a slam on this hand", he was wrong on two counts. No one was good enough to bid a slam on that hand without some huddles and the "You girls" cost him $50 for a frivolous protest.
...Quote of the Year: When a woman player was told by her partner that it was very difficult for him to take action after she huddled and passed, she retorted: "It s bad enough to have my opponents complain, I do not need to hear this from my partner."
...Traditionally 57th Street has been D4Bridge Street . Even the 58th St. Bridge Club eventually wound up there. So, why are some players upset about two successful clubs being across the street from one another? After all, the customers are in a Win-Win situation. They have a choice of directors, surroundings, strength of the field, food, etc. on either side of the street. And don't forget the Town Club, Manhattan and Culbertson in the rest of Manhattan.
...Slow negative doubles seem to be IN this year. "Eh, partner, I don t really have the right hand for it, but I missed the course in bidding in tempo." Going hand in hamd with the preceding is cross-eyed new minor forcing and fourth-suit forcing20 "By Jove I ve got it". Not far behind is the support double that can be made on 2 3 4 or A K Q.
...During the 1964 Presidential elections, Jerry Prisyon provided us with buttons that read20 "HARRY NOT BARRY". (Dear Kathy, that s Goldwater, not Geldzahler.)
...Fred Dischman of Kansas City wrote a tongue-in-cheek article about bidding boxes for his Unit s publication. A lot of officials were up in arms. They thought it would be a primer for cheating. Even our usually gutsy editor took a pass on reprinting it. Don t worry, guys, the D4gonifs 20 (dishonest players) are way ahead of Mr. Dischman. For them, bidding boxes without screens are manna from Memphis.
...Psychs or psychics are not to be found on the convention card anymore. Can it be that the trend to floating openers (they re so light they just float away) makes them indistinguishable?
...Science on the March: A'young star' explained that he bid a game he knew wouldn t fetch because any other action in this particular auction would be a slam force. You must admire such a cavalier (The Editor would not let me get by with regal) approach.
...It may be a good idea to play in this coming Winter Regional at the improved Crowne Plaza as this may well be the last real Big Apple tournament of this millennium.
...The Philadelphia Story', a book about protests at the Nationals is a good read. Although this writer is not yet ready to agree with Sammy Kehela who wants to do away with all these committees, it s easy to see why he feels this way. Will the next compilation be called I Left My Heart in San Francisco'?
...I've been perusing the daily bulletins from Rhodes and must admit that most of it is Greek to me. However, the article by Sweden's Daniel Auby (reprinted in these pages) on alerts and protests is extremely well written and to the point. It also reinforces my feelings about what to do with the whole alert business!
...Tom Griffin, Paul Kern and others came up with the idea that Appeals Committees should also include average players as they are more in tune with the thought processes of their peers, but extending this to the World Championships is going too far.
...If all it takes to make the papers is doing something stupid and having the opponents do something even less fit to print, I would have enough material for a regular column.
...When the Italian Blue Team won everything in sight for two decades (boy, did we have the Blues) the League kept changing its selection format hoping to come up with a winner. Now, after the fiasco in Rhodes, will it be back to the drawing board?
...The Ladies did play up to snuff. Congratulations, "Girls" on another World title!
...Kudos also to Judy Tucker and Jack Greenberg who won the two-session Mixed Pairs event in Rhodes.
...The unsung heroes of our events are the selfless volunteers who man the Partnership Desk. These patient people deserve a great vote of thanks.
...When a player asks for protection due to an incomplete explanation from an opponent, and he knows darn well what the bid means from the cards he s looking at in his own hand, at best he should be laughed out of the room.
...Over the years I thought I heard every excuse for losing, but jet lag is a new one on me. Whats next? Dehydration?
...As of the first of the year the League is doing away with all fractional certificates. It's not important whether the reason is their effort to push their computer programs or to avoid those forged slips or whatever. This move is like chicken soup, it can't hurt!
...The time has come once again for this mellowed out C.O. to wish all who read this column a healthy and happy New Year. This goes double for Lorraine Zippert, Marion and Len Harmon and Steve Altman who used to grace our events and worked (a real labor of love) to make this Unit the greatest in the land and who had no part in what it has become.
Addendum:
A few months ago I received a form letter from the League s CEO,
Roy Green,
asking why I (and presumably countless others) had stopped paying annual
dues. The following is
my reply to that letter:
"Dear Sir,
On October 3, I received your letter of September 1st, for which I thank
you. I read it with great
interest and decided it deserved a reply.20
Let me start by telling you a little about myself, although I m sure you
have it all on your
computer. I ve been a Life Master and a Certified Director for nearly four
decades and a member
of the League since the mid-fifties. I ve been teaching and playing pro
for the same period of
time. I have also been instrumental in having people join the League from
such disparate places as
Japan, Uruguay, Austria and Turkey. On the minus side, I was reprimanded and
threatened with
harsher measures during the 1996 Summer Nationals for calling a person
unethical who was less
than active' in that direction.20
Now to come to the subject of your letter: When a bunch of us started to play competitively we had no illusion that earning 300 points (with the right color combination) would make us bridge players. The goal was to be eligible to play in Master events and become a "Life Member" and all it used to entail. To that end, we spent a lot on card fees and even travel. In those days of smaller awards than today, it was estimated that the cost of making it was between $3,000 and $30,000, depending on one s ability. Although for this Life Member not to pay the "service fee" is merely a matter of principle, let s examine what I would get for my $25: The Bulletin - a magazine that years ago I just couldn t wait for. Now with the exception of Mike Lawrence s cogent columns, it is boring and repetitive.20
Recording of Master Points - Who cares if at this point I have 5,000 or 6,000. Until something is done (devaluation wouldn t be a bad idea), no rational person should take the whole business seriously.20
Marketing Department - I get everything I need quite expeditiously from Randy Baron.
I haven t been privy to a Financial Statement recently, but it s a safe bet that fees (card, sanction and membership) are the sole true source of ACBL revenue. While I m at it, I would like to point out that your organization is the only one known not to give its seniors any sort of financial break. This is curious to me, as only the AARP has a larger percentage of members over the age of 55. At some point, some of us old geezers are bound to wake up to the fact that the tail is wagging the dog.
I do appreciate your efforts and courtesy and hold you in the highest esteem but for now this Life Member will pass.
Sincerely,
Marcel Friedmann"